November 2009
6 posts
Imagine Me and You, and You and Me...
Ever notice how few love songs are happy? Most of the time, love hurts. Occasionally, love stinks. Even the sprightly Turtles tune quoted above, “Happy Together,” is about longing for someone, not actually being together – blissful, miserable or (God forbid) just boringly okay. Most love songs are about love wished for or love lost. And your basic love addict is a sucker for songs like that. We...
With Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy
Last column I gave you a mature, thoughtful list of questions for self-diagnosing love addiction. But since I am neither mature nor thoughtful, here’s another list you may find helpful: YOU MIGHT BE A LOVE ADDICT IF… … You check His daily horoscope in the morning along with your own. (Extra points for checking His first.) … You leap for a ringing phone at the same vector and velocity as you...
I Know I Am, But What Are You?
A reader asks, “What’s the difference between love addiction and codependency?” Another asks a similar question: “How do I know if I’ve got it? Is it harder to identify than swine flu?” My ballpark differentiation between the love addict and garden-variety codependent goes like this: Any jilted lover will get a nasty jolt when they see the ex’s car. It takes an addict to set fire to the ex’s...
Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar. But Not...
Of course I got flak about my “Bill Clinton is a sex addict” comment. Oh, wait, I didn’t actually say that out loud. I was only hinting. Okay, then, here you go: In my opinion, only a sex addict is incapable of turning down a blow job when the FATE OF THE FREE WORLD depends on him keeping his dick in his pants.
If that isn’t persisting in a compulsive behavior despite...
I Need A Lover Who Won't Drive Me Crazy
We get letters. This from A.G., excerpted with permission: “It seems to me you have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to call this behavior an ‘addiction.’ Lots of men and women suffer from variations on this very human kind of emotional neediness; I think the addiction analogy merely gets in the way of making better choices. We’ve never met but you seem highly intelligent, talented and, of course,...
If You Can't Eat and You Can't Hump It... Piss On...
Dog behavior. You gotta love it… because you have no choice. At the very least, you have to accept it. Too many of us go around resenting dogs for not acting more like cats. Or men like women. Or vice versa.
For instance: Stop being so flattered that a man wants to sleep with you. It does not necessarily mean you are Totally Hot or Irresistibly Desirable, no matter what he says. The hard...
