I let two calls go to voicemail this evening. The first was from Minnesota, so it was probably Senator Al Franken’s campaign office asking for money (dude, you already got elected; let it go) and the other was from one of those fake numbers that’s probably someone calling via Skype to sell me prescription drugs from India, which is a mean thing to do to a recovering drug addict.
The point of the story, though, is not the insanity of our cash-mad political system or the lure of gray market Ambien. The point is that I didn’t pick up the phone.
In the past, I might have convinced myself that the caller from Minnesota could have been that cute guy I met on that trip to St. Paul that time. Or reminded myself that the Australian bodybuilder I once dated would call on Skype. The love addict gremlin that lives in my reptile brain could always come up with some reason to grab for the phone and anticipate the mail.
My insanity is, if nothing else, optimistic.
I think the quickest way to spot a sex and love addict is to see how easy he or she is to reach. Sex and love addicts leave forwarding addresses. We transfer our calls to our cell phones. We leave word where we can be found at any hour of the day or night. God forbid that our soulmate should try to contact us and not be able to! Somewhere in the back of every love addict’s head is the fantasy that Prince Charming is out there somewhere, and you never know if today is the day he’s going to reach out and touch you. Maybe this is the morning your unrequited crush will realize you were The One all along. You never know.
Yes, people are more wired today than they were only a few years ago, and you can tell me you’re glued to your devices purely for business purposes. But in your heart, you know what call you’re expecting. And every time the caller isn’t your true love, but just another fundraiser from Minnesota or telemarketer from Bangalore, doesn’t your heart sink a little? It fills every day with a parade of disappointment and unmet expectation. No wonder love addicts get depressed.
In my book, it’s a signpost of recovery for any sex and love addict to not pick up a phone. Prince Charming can leave a damn message.
